Sound of Silence

Enter code as seen in image (case sensitive)

2008-06-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

I dont like trying the same thing again and again until I get it. I dont bother to be perfect in everything I do. When I cant be perfect I do things to the extent I can and get done with it. But sometimes you just cant move on until you get it right. Especially, entering a code for verificication.

Yesterday, I was trying to check the visa appointment availablity for my parents. The website required me to enter certain characters in a box just as displayed in another box. I got tired after 10 attempts. I just couldnt go to the next page. I was still on the same page trying to match the characters. I finally succeeded in my 15th attempt just to see the message "Interview
appointments not currently available, please check back in 24 hrs".

Making Sweets!!!!

2006-12-28T12:28:00.000-08:00

Everytime my mom prepared sweets for us, I used to comment on the quality/quantity of those sweets without putting too much thought into it. I once said "It tastes really good but it could have been a little more crispy and better shaped", and then she would go on to list the probable causes for imperfections, and stay concerned the whole day wondering if she could have made those sweets better. After seeing her so despondent, I would tell her that it was the taste that mattered the most, and not the shape of the sweet. Recently for Deepavali, I made the seven cup sweet. But I just couldn't make those pieces in proper shape at all. It came out like an halwa at first. So I put it back on stove for sometime and tried it again. Only this time it came out hard like a stone. So hard that I couldn't cut it at all. So I put it back on gas again, added more milk and tried again. I was fighting with this for around two hours going back and forth before I finally got tired. So I brought the sweet back to its halwa state and let it cool. After some time, I was happy to see it become moderately hard but without the stone-like hardness. I let it cool for around 1 hour.

I then gave a piece of this sweet to my husband and eagerly awaited his comments. I was kinda of happy on the job well done and I was almost sure he would appreciate me for putting in so much hard work. I heard nothing for the first few seconds...and I finally heard him say, "The taste is fine, but its a little hard like a cookie". There I go....I felt like telling him "Cant you just say it tastes good". After struggling hard for two hours, I wasn't ready for even a small bit of criticism. I then realized it was very hard to accept criticism when you make something for a person whom you love the most and that person did not say it was bad but didn't say it was the best. I now know how my mom felt. I guess you live and learn.

Wife as a Source of Humor

2006-12-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

Debra: What I don't understand is that you always make fun of my cooking, but when I finally make something you like you're still making jokes about it!
Ray: Honey, don't be upset. Don't worry about what those guys think.
Debra: I don't care what those guys think of me, I care what YOU think of me!

I always wonder why men enjoy making fun of their wives to their friends. May be as Ray says they dont have anything interesting to talk and grab attention. The interesting part is they dont even realize that they have pulled a prank on their wives, atleast that is what they say :-) I have seen men who go on and on about their wives in public (trying to be humorous) until they get a long stare from their partner.

Is it the case with all men or are there exceptions?

Marriage: First day in my husband's home

2006-08-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

It was a new beginning.

Getting married and moving to my husband's house was a thrilling experience. From the moment I woke up, in the morning, in my new house, everything seemed so different. I checked my face and hair, before I walked out of my room. Something I never do. In my parents house I have never cared how I look when I get up in the morning for that matter any time. I actually walked out proudly, thinking that I would be one of the earliest to wake up. Ha! It was a surprise! I was totally embarassed to find I was the last one to wake up. I glanced at all the faces that were familiar but still new. It was a bright and sunny day and family talks were going on as if it was 11:00 AM. I thought I had risen earlier than usual and checked the time and I was right. It was 6:30 AM. 6:30 AM in the freaking morning. Well! my husband was sitting with his Dad, uncle and others having filter coffee( I hate coffee). What was I thinking? 'early riser'. Hmph. I needed to rewrite the definition for 'early' in my dictionary.

Being married and moving to a new house is like changing companies (except this doesn't happen as often as it does in work life. I have changed three companies in one year. May be that transition wasnt this tough). Suddenly, I found myself concious of everything I was doing. There was this sudden feeling that every one around me were watching me. Even when they were totally not. During the first few days there were atleast 20 people in the house and so many functions and dinners. People talked to me like they knew me for years. They were all so cool. But, I didnt know that. I found myself answering in monosyllables during conversations. Even for those simple questions that were asked as part of small talk. Soon, every one thought I was a silent girl. My mind immediately went back to my reaction in my house when my shawl was missing. I have never dreamt of being one. I gave my standard smile as an answer for most questions, even though I actually had something to say. I didn't plan on being this way. It just happened. This wasn't me. It was someone else. I wondered - Why was this happening to me?

So on the first day at my new house, I did not call my mom or for that matter, any one in my family the entire morning. During some chat in the afternoon, my mom-in-law asked me "Did you talk to your mom?" . I was happy to hear her ask me that. But I surprised myself by asking her back in a soft voice "Can I make a call?" . This totally caught her by surprise. She replied kind of shocked and confused, Oh! sure..you don't have to ask questions like this. Feel free to do anything you want. My husband had clearly told me, "This is your home, you can do what ever you want, all you got to do is be yourself." . I had no clue why I was so silly.

From that moment onwards everyone started trying to make me feel at home. That only made me more self-concious. Evening came and my husband's Uncle, who has a great sense of humor came in. I was sitting with my husband's cousins and was trying to make some conversation. We were chatting and generally having fun. The marriage had just gotten over. All of them talked to me about my family, school, college, etc..etc..I was loving every moment of it. I suddenly heard the Uncle's voice say from behind, "Periyava vandha ippadiya okaradhu, ezhundhu nikka vendam, oru mariyadha illa", [ translation- "Is this the way you keep sitting when elders come in, shouldnt you get up and give some respect." ] I popped out of my chair, with my heart pounding, even before he finished the sentence. Everyone around me burst into laughter. And the uncle said "Valayatuku sonnen, nee un purushan thalai mela kooda kaal pootu okaralam, thappe illa." translation- "I was kidding, you can sit with one leg on top of your husband's head. no harm." Even now I smile uncontrollably when I think of it. How could I be so naive?

Those were precious moments. They will never come back. Sometimes I feel silly thinking about those times. But in a way, they are sweet. Even when setting the breakfast table, eating, drinking, walking, dressing, talking and so on, I was very conscious. I have always felt that any opinion about the daughter-in-law is formed during her first few days in her new home. May be that influenced my behavior. Who knows?

Now, things have changed. 7:30 AM (even 8:30) wake-ups, chats with my MIL (on skype and MSN), with both agreeing that my husband is the biggest absent-minded, buffoon in the whole world, pulling pranks on my husband's cousins.

Ah! Time changes everything.

Credit cards

2006-08-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

I used to think managing credit cards are very simple until I had my own. I have seen lots of credit card companies setting up tables in the malls, college campuses etc. Despite having huge student loans, students still opt to have a credit card and incure more loans. God only know why? According to a study conducted by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group (PIRG), students who obtain credit cards at campus tables have higher unpaid balances than those who do not. Of the 79 percent of surveyed students who use credit cards for multiple purposes, only 13 percent reported limiting credit card use to emergencies. Incidentally my husband is a student and we fall under the remaining 66 percent.

Off late I have realized that credit cards can be helpful only in case of emergencies and if you are able to pay off the balance each month. I mean the balance and not the minimum balance. My husband and I would have done justice to his summer internship salary if we did not have a credit card. Our recreation expenses wouldn't have been $200 every week if we did not have the credit card. We have been trying to pay off our credit card bill for last two months, but we are still on the same place where we were 2 months back. Its tough to believe that we spend so much.

Does every one who have credit card have the same problem or is it just me?

Afternoon Sleep

2006-07-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

I enjoy my afternoon sleep more than the usual regular night sleep. I have never missed my afternoon sleep beginning from my school days till the time I joined for a 9:00 AM - 9:00 PM work. My sleep time during school days were from 4:00 PM to 5:30 PM and 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM during my college days. My mind just can't think if I dont sleep in the afternoons. I was surprised when I heard some work places have dormitories, where the employees can sleep and relax. Why wasn't I working in one such company?

But now after marriage, I have got back my sound afternoon sleep. Dependent visa status, for all its worth has replaced my job with my sound afternoon sleep. Maybe, I wished too hard for an afternoon's sleep when my boss was flogging me at work. But I digress. God bless whoever invented the afternoon sleep.

Scared of Dogs

2006-07-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

I have this habit of walking to the Lake every evening. The walk to the lake and the walk on the lakeshore has always been pleasant and relaxing except for the fear of dogs. I dont hate dogs but I'm scared of their very sight. Most of the houses in America have dogs. From the moment I step out of my apartment, I become cautious. I cautiously (but pretending to be cool) switch to the other side of the road every time I see a someone walking a dog in my vicinity. I hate it when the owners untie the leash and let the dogs play. They know that dogs are friendly, but they must know that they are unpredictable too. I feel they should realize the potential danger that dogs can present.

The street dogs in India are even more scary. I often avoid going to houses that have dogs or even cats. I remember the instance when me and and my friend were walking down the steps from my friend's apartment and she was few steps ahead of me. When we were coming down we saw a fearceful dog inside the gate and it started running towards us as if it was waiting for us to come down. We immediatley turned back and started climbing the steps, fast..really fast. Oh! I didn't know until then that we could run that fast. Suddenly, I heard a "aaaaahhhhhh!!!" sound and I then realised it wasn't "we" but just "me" who climbed the steps quickly. When I came running down my friend was lying on the floor crying and the dog was running furiously the other side and then we took her to the hospital for all those series of injections. By the time we got back, the neighbours told us that the dog has bitten 3 other people in half an hours time.

They say American dogs are not like Indian Dogs. I dont think so. The fact is "They are Dogs"!

Good Luck to my Husband

2006-03-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

I have always found it hard to get up early in the morning and have been advised by my mom, dad, sis, bro and now my husband to try and sleep early so that I can get up on time. I used to look at people surprisingly when they say that they get up at 4:00 AM during their exams. Man! I just couldn't do it. I have tried getting up at 5:00 AM or even 6:00 AM and study but it has always turned out to be a bad idea. I can stay awake till 2:00 AM in the morning and study and then go to sleep and get up at 7:00 AM and just get ready and sit for the exam. For some reason I find it difficult to sleep at 9:00 PM and get up at 5:00 AM and study. It does not matter if this alternative still provides me 9 hours of sleep. though you get your usual eight hour sleep. Though everybody says that your mind will be fresh early morning, I have always felt sleepy and not fresh. Infact, I feel I can concentrate more only at nights after every body goes to sleep when the house is silent and there are no distractions and disturbances. The main reason why this is appealing is because you don't feel as if you have woken up in the middle your sleep.

My college used to start at 7:30 AM and my parents were specific that I should join this college. It was a conspiracy to ensure that I'll not have the option of getting up late. I remember my struggles to get up at 6:30. My mom was supposed to wake me up at 6:45 and I'd beg for the usual grace time of 2 more minutes, which she knows will strech up to 5 minutes. Eventually, I'd get up with at 6:50 AM - whinging and groggy. I'll get ready by 7:17 and by then my Dad would be ready to drop me in the bus stop for the 7:20, 17E bus. If I missed that bus my Dad had to drop me in the college and that meant the poor guy would be late for work.

And would you believe my luck? My husband is a person who gets up at 5 or 6 in the morning and he is now trying to get me to do it. I just wish him good luck and hope he succeeds..After all its suppossed to be good for me isn't it?

Who is the Winner?

2005-12-28T11:31:00.000-08:00

I have seen this happening in most of the houses when I visit my cousins place for holidays or my friends place. The time is 7:55 PM. The head of the Family is ready to watch the Sun TV news at 8:00 PM and switches on the TV. Soon after the TV is on the daughter remembers that SCV channel has a programme that plays latest movie songs at 8:oo PM and wants to watch that. So she gathers her sweetest/cutest voice and asks her Dad "Please pa, I want to see this program, you can change it after that". Dad says,"I just came back from office, I haven't seen TV since morning, I just want to watch the news, you can change channels after the news". Then comes the Lady of the house, " Its 8:00 clk, switch to Raj Tv, I'd like to know whats happening in Geethanjali, Geetha's child was kidnapped yesterday" and so comes the demand to watch a Mega Serial, which has stupid suspense for no reason almost every day. Then comes the son of the house, who wants to watch some day-nite Match, "Pa match is going to end, you have already read the news in the morning paper, what more do you need."

After all the arguments, "Who is the Winner"? Is it the person who has the remote?- The answer could be - Mostly the head of the family. But just because he has the remote and has made his choice to watch the news channel, does not mean that he can watch the programme peacefully. The answer is - A BIG NO. There will be lots of objections and protests raised against him until the channel is changed. The daughter will keep a long face, the son will be shouting and mom will point out how she has been doing all the work for the family getting up at 5AM and not able to watch even one TV series of her choice.

Once upon a time, I have also been one among those, fighting for remote, keeping long faces and fighting with my dad and brother to change the channel. My Dad used to accede to our request eventually by switching after the headlines got over, my mom updated her Mega series knowledge by just seeing one scene in the middle. Finally it boiled down to a fight between me and my brother. A fight that would never end. Those were the days. However, now am sitting here in US with a TV, DVD Player,VCR and a Bose Music system. The irony is that all 5 remote controls are with me but I don't even care to switch them on. Are the TV programs really interesting stand-alone? Or is it just the competition to watch something else make one program suddenly appear better over the other?

Snow - Is it beautiful?

2005-12-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

My phone rang at 7 AM not even close to my usual wake up time, from my friend whose usual wake up time is even more farther. "Did you look outside" was the first thing I heard when I picked the call. I now knew the reason of her early morning call since for past two days we had been talking about just one thing. I immediately got out of my bed and shouted with excitment "Is it snowing outside?" and ran to my window to look out when my husband was looking at me wierdly "Whats wrong with my wife, why is she up so early?" It was such a beautiful sight that I just couldnt stop shouting "Wow....Its so pretty!!!!!" I then called my other friend to share my excitement who was in a deep sleep dreaming. I heard her say hello in a half sleepy tone but on the other end with my voice so clear and loud, said "Its snowing..its pretty...though not heavy".

Two days later it started snowing crazy and our apartment roads and trees looked even more pretty and now our excitement knew no bounds and we decided to step out of the house.

I then remembered that i dint have a winter jacket on. And it was very cold outside. "Thats ok", said one of my friends...."Even I dont have a jacket, just wear two of your Fall jackets, that should be good for now". Then we stepped out of the house. We were three crazy girls playing early morning in the snow with Fall jackets and taking pictures.

After two days, the opinions about snow changed drastically - "Oh my God its icy, slushy, slippery..i can't drive. Its looking very dirty....." this was all we could say about the snow. All our praises for snow were taken back and started saying "ywack..." Now snow is all around us and we are sick and tired of it. I can't wait to see grass again.

First Post

2005-12-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

This is my first blog. This is going to be a kalandha avial of my thoughts. Have been reading blogs but never thought of writing one. Inspired by many bloggers and the ample time I have made me decide to write a blog about everything that I can think of.